6 weird Monument

Monuments exist as a testament to the greatness/significance of whatever event or person they are commemorating. Because while human memory might fail and books might deteriorate, solid granite or marble will survive for centuries to tell tales of all the important things past. The following monuments however are nothing like that and seem to exist solely for the sake of being weird...

• Mimizuka (Kyoto, Japan)

When you travel abroad it’s only natural to want to bring back some souvenirs with you, like a snow globe or a keychain perhaps? But if you were a 16th century Japanese warrior in Korea, away from your country fighting a bloody war, you wouldn’t care about such trifle things. Snow globes that is. You still would want some souvenirs of course, like maybe Korean noses and ears to show off to the family.

A few centuries ago, facial body parts were a popular war trophy in Japan, and during one of the country’s many invasions of the Asian mainland (from 1592 to 1598) the samurai gathered ears and noses from over 38,000 killed Koreans and enshrined them in Kyoto for reasons most likely connected with their rampaging insanity. Today that is Mimizuka – literally translating to “Ear Mound” – a monument commemorating Japan’s invasion of Korea, built around a piece of dirt covering a bunch of ears from murdered foreign civilians.

Didn’t these guys ever see “Poltergeist”? Nothing good will come out of this…

• Underwater Sculpture Park (Grenada)

Every monument is a statement. It might be something about equality and freedom, as represented by, say, the Statue of Liberty, or it could be a statement of the country’s weird ear fetish, like with Mimizuka. Whatever the case may be, it’s always a good idea to display your monument openly, so your message can reach the most people.

Sculptor Jason de Caires Taylor however had a different idea about this and set himself up as the world’s first underwater artist. His works can be found at the bottom of Moliniere Bay in Grenada, consisting of dozens of statues built on land and submerged in the area on May 2006. Taylor’s underwater monuments supposedly highlight ecological processes and themselves act as an artificial reef for the local marine life.

The statues are located in the shallow parts of the Moliniere Bay and are easily accessible to scuba divers, people with glass bottom boats and mermaids.

• The Chinese Penis (Changchun, China)

Who would have thought that the world’s largest penis would come from China of all places? Well it does, and it measures a walloping 30 feet in erect form, standing proudly in the middle of Longwan Shaman Amusement Park, in Changchun.

Before you get any ideas, this is a penis monument we’re talking about here. The Chinese, in the most obvious case of overcompensating for something, actually built a massive steel and straw penis totem, named The Sky Pillar, in memory of the shaman Ewenki, an important figure in Chinese shamanistic mysticism. The Sky Pillar is supposedly symbolizing the Chinese’s pursuit of happiness and prosperity, proving that the East and the West have two vastly different ideas of happiness.

A few tourists have protested the Straw Penis but the majority seemed to not mind it, even if the monument does stand in the middle of a park visited mostly by children. But hey, if the local government won’t step in to flash your children, then who will?

• The Tikrit Bush Shoe

In December 2008, President Bush decided to take a trip around the Middle East and visit all the places America has “liberated”, because as we all know 2008 marked the time when all hostilities in that region stopped and the war was officially over. In the end Bush held a press conference in Baghdad’s Green Zone where, because nobody likes a gloater, one of the reporters took off his shoe and threw it at Bush, instantly making history.

To celebrate this hilarious event and prove they can take a joke, in early 2009 the Iraqis unveiled a large, sofa sized replica of the infamous shoe in Tikrit, the birthplace of Saddam Hussein. Also, a green bush was planted inside it. Hey, there is no reason to not find joy and laughter in life, even if your country has been torn apart by military conflict.

• Enema Monument

Everyone has something that they are particularly proud of, but you don’t see your neighbor building a statue to immortalize that one time he spit at more than 35 yards, no matter how impressive that might have been. That is why it’s so weird to see the Russian town of Zheleznovodsk be proud enough of their enema treatments to build a $42,000 monument commemorating just that.

The Mashuk Akva-Term Sanatorium, quite famous for treating constipation and other gastrointestinal problems, is currently the site of a 5-foot tall, 800-pound bronze enema syringe held up by three Botticelli angels, celebrating the supposed wonders of this frightening inner-butt procedure. The head of the Sanatorium claims there is not a hint of irony in this, because the enema has basically became the symbol of the region, which is something you think they would want to keep to themselves

It’s nice that the people there have something to be proud of but this is like Baltimore commissioning a statue to memorialize the city’s impressive dope fiend population.

• Mount Rushmore

You might be thinking that you know Mt. Rushmore and that there is nothing weird about it. It is after all a symbol of America, honoring the 4 great presidents: Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and the fourth guy. If there is anything strange about it, it’s the fact that it keeps giving red blooded patriots raging erections despite depicting a bunch of dudes.

That is all fine and dandy but it avoids a few crucial pieces of information: Mt. Rushmore is a full out symbol of American oppression. It’s not just because the monument was designed and carved out by Gutzon Borglum – a member of the Ku Klux Klan, who even sat at the Imperial Koncilium during the changing of KKK’s leadership. It’s also not about the fact the Borglum chose the 4 presidents for the monument based on their contributions to America’s expansion, which you might remember included mostly murder of native tribes back then.

It’s about what Mt. Rushmore was supposed to be and where it was built. The 4 presidents were carved into what was known in the past as the Six Grandfathers, a sacred site for the Lakota Sioux tribes, which was taken from them and desecrated without as much as a “Thank You, and Good Luck”. And after the white man dynamited and carved himself a piece of that holy rock, what did we do? We did not follow through, that’s what. Did you know that Mt. Rushmore is not finished?

The original plan didn’t call only for faces. The presidents were supposed to be carved all the way down to their waists. It was simply never finished due to time and budget constraints. Just something to keep in mind the next time you are in South Dakota: Gaze upon Borglum’s laziness and shake your head.

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